THE BOB & TOM SHOW - Program Notes

w w w . b o b a n d t o m . c o m

February 16 - 20, 2009

Hop on the Bus
Comedian Mike Toomey has been headlining comedy clubs since 1982, but it was his one-man-show TV and Me that really helped him make his mark. On stage, Toomey took a nostalgic look back at the golden age of television, when programs like I Love Lucy, Bonanza, and The Brady Bunch were king. This show was a natural fit for Toomey who can mimic over 50 of his favorite "TV Land" personalities including Adam West, Mr. Rogers, Richard Dawson, and Raymond Burr. However, of all of his impressions, our two favorites have to be the classic high school film guy and the bus driver that won't shut up.

FACTOID - Once during a live televisin broadcast, Mike Toomey (dressed as Batman) presented Adam West (who played Batman on the original TV series) with a certificate of thanks for portraying Batman so accurately.

Roll Tide
Tim Statum is a Birmingham, Alabama native with a southern style of comedy that's full of humor and storytelling. Along with being a huge fan of the Alabama Crimson Tide, Tim spends his time headlining at the Comedy Club Stardome in Birmingham as well as other clubs throughout the southeast. Statum's act incorporates stories from his life growing up in the country mixed in with classic stand up comedy.

Mike Speenberg
Conceived in the back of a '69 Firebird and raised on hush puppies and fried bologna, comic Mike Speenberg has taken his own unique brand of generational comedy all over the country, sharing the stage with other comedic greats like Mitch Hedberg, Lewis Black, Dave Attell, and Bob Saget. Fueled by stories of home and family, love of country, and being drunk in public, Speenberg's comedy hits home with everyone of us who have lived through crazy step-parents, above ground pool parties, and square pizza with canned corn.

Aisha Tyler is Lit
Dartmouth College graduate Aisha Tyler is an actress who found success in a roundabout way. After becoming a hit on the stand-up circuit, she landed a sweet gig as the host of E! Network’s Talk Soup which in turn led to an increase in acting offers. She was soon popping up on almost every network, landing recurring roles on hit shows like 24, CSI, Friends and Ghost Whisperer. Tyler has also become an accomplished writer, authoring her own book and contributing articles for Glamour, Jane and O: The Oprah Magazine. Even with all this attention, she still hasn't abandoned stand-up. In fact, this Saturday at 11pm, her brand new special, Aisha Tyler is Lit - Live at the Fillmore debuts on Comedy Central.

Fitz of Laughter
Greg Fitzsimmons knows how to write comedy. If you don't believe him, he's got two Daytime Emmy Awards from his work on The Ellen DeGeneres Show to prove it. He's also written for Politically Incorrect, Lucky Louie, and The Man Show. Fitzsimmons is also pretty good at telling his jokes too. He’s a regular on almost every late night talk show, he’s appeared on VHI’s The Best Week Ever, CNN, had his own Comedy Central special and hosted a Cable Ace Award winning game show on MTV called Idiot Savants.

At the Movies with Pat Dixon
Comedian Pat Dixon might be the only movie reviewer who's got it right. While most other so-called "experts" will actually watch the film in question, Pat writes his reviews before he ever sees the movie. This way he can't be swayed by plot, acting, cinematography, or all the other fluff that could influence his opinion. Sure it's tough, but it saves him about $10 a flick. Pat has appeared on Comedy Central's Premium Blend and on CMT as the host of their "Summer Games."

Makes Your Heart Start Racing
A hot lap in racing typically refers to the speed of the car, unless it's being driven by the "Leading Lady of racing" Danica Patrick, in which case the phrase takes on an entirely new meaning. You know what we're talking about if you've picked up this year's Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue because a bikini-clad Danica is once again featured inside. When not modeling swim wear or starring in this year's most watched Super Bowl ad, Danica keeps busy driving in the IndyCar series for Andretti Green Racing. Since 2005 she has earned four poles, became the first woman ever to lead the Indy 500 (for 19 laps), as well as the fastest woman qualifier of all time and the first woman to finish in the top five. Last year, in her 50th start, Danica won the Indy Japan 300, becoming the first women to ever take the checkered flag in a major racing series.
Watch Danica's Previous Appearance on the BOB&TOM Show

Mr. Skin Presents the 10th Annual Anatomy Awards
He's seen tens of thousands of movies, but doesn't remember a single plot. He's Mr. Skin, the world's foremost authority on female nudity in film, and he's helping his followers learn the true meaning of the term "double feature." From his humble beginnings as a young man collecting nude clips of hot actresses from R & PG rated movies, Mr Skin has turned his hobby into an empire. His website includes screen shots of naked celebs, movie reviews and yearly presentations of his "Anatomy Awards." So if you're looking for a hard to find clip, or looking for a good rental suggestion for the evening, make sure to check out all the titillating archived data at MrSkin.com.

The Biggest
Name in Comedy
Comedian Costaki Economopoulos' humor has been described as smart, pointed, hip, sharp, insightful, socially relevant, and gut-laugh funny; and it's not just Caroline Rhea saying those things. With praise like that, we had no choice but to ask him to call in each week and present us with a feature he calls The Economonologue.

The Animal Conspiracy Guy
Tim Bedore's weekly editorial, Vague But True, has been a regular feature on the BOB&TOM show for a number of years now, and in that time certain topics seem to pop up on a regular basis. One of the most popular subject matters has been the secret war waging between man and beast which Tim has dubbed the "Animal Conspiracy." As news stories piled up and listener e-mails kept rolling in, Tim has had no choice but to continue informing the masses about this ongoing battle. Don't believe us, just check out his website to see for yourself!

Sleepwalk With Mike During Late Night
If you weren't already excited about Friday's upcoming episode of Late Night with David Letterman, this bit of news should make you want to set your DVR right now. Comedian Mike Birbiglia will be driving across town to talk with Dave about his hit off-Broadway show, Sleepwalk with Me, and after appearing on The View a couple of weeks ago, he shouldn't be nervous at all. The show films its Friday episodes on Mondays, so tune in on Tuesday to hear all about his Late Night adventure in an all new Secret Public Journal.

Better Than a Three Day Weekend
Sure, Monday February 16th was Presidents Day, but the true day for celebration is the following Tuesday because that's when the all new edition of the The Zany Report, as brought to you comedian Bob Zany, premieres. So now you get all the excitement of Presidents Day without the hassel of the banks being closed. Oh, and don't forget about Fix-the-Joke, Baby. Thanks Bob!

The Doctor Will See You Now
When BOB&TOM need to have their heads shrunk, there is only one man they trust with the job, psychotherapist and long time friend of the show, Dr. Will Miller. Dr Will is an ordained minister, former standup comedian, keynote speaker, teacher and full-time therapist at a major University, yet somehow he still finds time to write books including Why We Watch and Refrigerator Rights (the latter of which has just recently been re-released with an all new chapter and updated research.)

Feb 9 - 13
Program Notes

"Life and I don't always get along."
- Tom Griswold on asking a lot of questions and being skeptical

"You can't play grab-ass unless you're naked."
-Chick McGee

"Here's a quote I want on the page; 'Tom is a douche bag'"
- Bob Kevoian

"Have you ever notice that when you talk about Segways it's hard to transition into another topic?"
- Tom Griswold making a joke about the homonyms Segway and segues

"I got a Snuggie the other day; the blanket with sleeves. Finally, a uniform for depression."
- Pat Dixon

"I've never thought about having kids before, but after having so many computer problems lately..."
- Nick Griffin on kids' knowledge of technology

"I'm guessing Native Americans wish they had had a tougher immigration policy."
- John Evans

"I quit smoking and drinking and I eat better. Now I'm so healthy it makes me sick."
- Pat Dixon

"Calling Kathy Lee 'entertainment' is like calling falling off the roof 'transportation.'"
- Rocky LaPorte

"Is that sound a horse galloping or Tom chewing?"
- Chick McGee on the Tom's table manners

"Hugh Hefner is never giving up power. He's the Fidel Castro of boobies."
- Jeffrey Ross

"After what happened to my 401k, my new retirement plan is the Rapture."
- Scott Dunn

"You know the economy is bad when they start laying off planets."
- Bob Kevoian on why they might have downgraded Pluto from its status as a planet

"'Don't Stop till they say no twice' isn't a sales technique, it's a fraternity slogan."
- Patti Vasquez on pushy sales people

"When deciding between two competing theories, always go with the one that doesn't involve a magic spell."
- Emo Philips on Evolution vs. Intelligent Design

"Diarrhea doesn't work on a nudie beach."
- Tom Griswold

"You're going to hell on a scholarship."
- Spanky Brown to Tom Griswold

"A little girl getting bit by a pony is like being raped by Santa."
- Louis C.K. on crushing people's dreams

"If you can figure out how to kill a guy with a cassette tape, he probably deserves to die."
- Tom Griswold on weapons in prison.

"The desert doesn't make me horny."
- Kristi Lee

"When girls go wild they flash their boobs. When women go wild, they kill men."
- Louis C.K. on loving older women.

"Godfather III is the Curly Joe of that film series."
- Tom Griswold

"There are gangs of transvestites? I always thought that was more of a loner thing."
- Tom Griswold

"It's also known as the Northwest Baby Passage"
- Bob Kevoian with another name for mommy parts

"Between me, Oprah and her period, you don't have a chance."
- Geoff Brown as the Devil calling about your girl-friend

"I'm new to the 'front-ass' concept."
- Tom Griswold

"Chick, your sexuality has always been up for grabs."
- Tom Griswold

"There was a time when Kristi's genitalia was in the witness protection program."
- Tom Griswold on Kristi's past

"Winning 'Best Supporting Actor in a Music Video' is like one step above eating the most mashed potatoes."
- Rodney Carrington on his CMT Award

"My dog reminds me of my ex-husband. He's not pulling his weight financially and he's afraid of the vacuum."
- Karen Rontowski

"Jesus saves... and then he passes those savings on to me."
- Ryan Stout on looking for the good deals in life.

"I've never noticed Kristi to have any excessive flatulence."
- Tom Griswold on Kristi's diet.

"Sloppy Joes are just burgers that got their asses kicked."
- Donnie Baker on beating your food like Tom beats his cereal

"You don't want to be in the back row of a nude yoga class."
-Kristi Lee

"This guy got ripped to shreds humorously."
- Tom Griswold on the guy who fell into a bear pit while taking a picture

"My gym in LA is actually more like a gay bar with free weights."
- Dov Davidoff

"Nicole Kidman at 9-months pregnant is my goal weight two years from now."
- Caroline Rhea

"I'm not fat, I'm hard to kidnap."
- Jen Kober

"I've always wanted to date a baby."
- Tom Griswold on behalf of the woman dating Vern Troyer (Mini-Me)

"Do you listen to anyone but yourself?"
- Kristi Lee to Tommy G. during a newscast.