No Refunds
Described as one of the most twisted individuals you’ll ever see perform, Doug Stanhope has no problem telling people that his show might not be for everyone, especially those that are offended easily or have weak stomachs. He’s confrontational, vulgar, graphic, uninhibited and brutally honest, and that's just how he describes himself. All that aside, Doug is still considered to be one of the greatest comedians touring today. Along with his stand-up duties, he’s also hosted The Man Show on Comedy Central as well as a couple of the Girls Gone Wild videos. He's also starred in his very own Showtime Special, No Refunds, which is what he normally has to tell people before all of his shows.

Comedian, Poet and Part Time Chef
Comedian and political satirist Paul Gilmartin has been spending his Friday nights as one of the hosts of TBS' Dinner and a Movie for over a decade. But if you ask any fan of the BOB&TOM show, they're more likely to know Gilmartin from his comedic poems such as Sister Joan, Tim the Diehard Packer Fan, Undignified Ways to Die and Circus Love. Paul is a long time friend of the show and has appeared on a number of B&T albums. His other accomplishments include having his own Comedy Central Special, appearing on MTV and VH1, writing for the Emmy Awards and being nominated for a Cable ACE award.

Auggie's Got Something to Say
When you see Auggie Smith on stage, he may sounds like he's just manically ranting about whatever's pissed him off that day, but in actuality, every part of his act has been a meticulously crafted, well thought out and intelligently dissected into a rapid fire, seamlessly style of raving comedy. Smith has been spreading the "Word of Aug" for over a decade now, and audiences are flocking to his shows to hear more. Along with a very popular DVD and CD set, Auggie is veteran of the BOB&TOM Comedy All-Stars Tour, has been showcased at the Montreal Comedy Festival and has appeared in a number of radio and TV commercials.

Living the L.A. Dream
Being a comic out in L.A. is rough, just ask Patrick Keane.  That’s why he’s decided to take his act on the road where he can get a little more stage time and entertain a lot more people.  Keane considers himself to be more of a comedic performer in the mold of Gene Wilder and Bill Murray than a straight standup act, but that didn’t keep him from performing standup on The Late Late Show w/ Craig Ferguson.  Aside from comedy, Keane is also good at giving himself advice such as to stop apologizing so much, and that good looking people shouldn’t give dating advice. 

Easy For You to Say
The only thing harder to spell than Costaki Economopoulos' name, is the weekly feature he hosts, The Economonologue. However, we figure that since it's a made up word, we've got a little wiggle room if we happen to misplace an 'o' or a 'u.' And though his is not a name you'd want to get as a puzzle on Wheel of Fortune, it is one you don't mind seeing on our guest board because he's one of the most clever comedians working today.

Vague But True
Whether he's in the studio, on the phone, or live on his special ISDN line, comedian Tim Bedore joins BOB&TOM every Wednesday to bring us a new edition of his popular weekly feature, Vague But True. In these musings, Tim talks about whatever is on his mind at the time, whether that be politics, recent dreams, life lessons or stories on how animals are trying to wipe out the human race. But no matter the topic, folks all over the country are glued to their radios waiting to hear his words to remember.

Bo Fo Sho
For many, YouTube fame comes from making an ass out of yourself, just ask the Star Wars Kid or Chris Crocker, but for Bo Burnham intetnet stardom came from his funny, politically correct and pun-filled musical videos. Originally recording these tunes in his bedroom for the enjoyment of family and friends, Bo's YouTube videos have now become an internet phenomenon, having been viewed over 20 million times. Bo Burnham is now expanding his career beyond the constraints of YouTube. Along with touring the country, he is starring in his first Comedy Central Presents special later this month, and is releasing his third album, Bo Burnham, on Tuesday March 10th. This album is a two-disc set including a 13-track CD and a DVD containing his internet videos and his Comedy Central Special.

A Man Who Needs
No Introduction
World-famous stand-up comedian Bob Zany is set to deliver his eagerly anticipated weekly installment of The Zany Report and we couldn't be more excited. But if for some reason you aren’t exhausted from laughing when it’s all said and done, there's always BobZany.com where you can test your hand at punch line writing by playing Fix The Joke Baby. Pick up one of those "Salmon: The Other Pink Meat" bobbers while you're at it.

He Doesn't Have
Time For Laughs
When comedian Greg Hahn takes the stage, he does so with an energetic, all-out style of physical humor, one-liners and crowd work like you've never seen before. And once he lets loose, there's no stopping him because Hahn doesn't have time for laughs, he's out to create immediate pandemonium and panic. Hahn can wear an audience out with his rapid-fire jokes and leave them holding their sides, trying to catch their breath. Oh, and if you happen to be sitting in the front row of a Greg Hahn show, bring some paper towels as he's been known to spill a little beer.

Monday Morning History Lesson
For those of you who aren't familiar with Scott Dunn, he's a stand-up comedian, an author, a father of two, a husband of one, and is also a history buff. This the past year, Scott's been using his knowledge of the past to create a regular feature on the show in which his "Roasts" major events throughout history, and then gives us a little pop-quiz when he's done. So make sure you've got a No. 2 pencil handy.

"Musician people aren't dumb."
- Duff McKagan on the stereotype of rockers

"With the sweater vest and the beard, Gunner looks like a lumberjack going to church."
- Tom Griswold

"Since I got my grills done I'm smiling even when I'm angry. I smile like the Cleveland Indian."
- Guy Torry on having his teeth done

"My pee is okay."
- Tom on accidently dropping his cell phone in the toilet

"Life and I don't always get along."
- Tom Griswold on asking a lot of questions and being skeptical

"You can't play grab-ass unless you're naked."
-Chick McGee

"Here's a quote I want on the page; 'Tom is a douche bag'"
- Bob Kevoian

"Have you ever notice that when you talk about Segways it's hard to transition into another topic?"
- Tom Griswold making a joke about the homonyms Segway and segues

"I got a Snuggie the other day; the blanket with sleeves. Finally, a uniform for depression."
- Pat Dixon

"I've never thought about having kids before, but after having so many computer problems lately..."
- Nick Griffin on kids' knowledge of technology

"I'm guessing Native Americans wish they had had a tougher immigration policy."
- John Evans

"I quit smoking and drinking and I eat better. Now I'm so healthy it makes me sick."
- Pat Dixon

"Calling Kathy Lee 'entertainment' is like calling falling off the roof 'transportation.'"
- Rocky LaPorte

"Is that sound a horse galloping or Tom chewing?"
- Chick McGee on the Tom's table manners

"Hugh Hefner is never giving up power. He's the Fidel Castro of boobies."
- Jeffrey Ross

"After what happened to my 401k, my new retirement plan is the Rapture."
- Scott Dunn

"You know the economy is bad when they start laying off planets."
- Bob Kevoian on why they might have downgraded Pluto from its status as a planet

"'Don't Stop till they say no twice' isn't a sales technique, it's a fraternity slogan."
- Patti Vasquez on pushy sales people

"When deciding between two competing theories, always go with the one that doesn't involve a magic spell."
- Emo Philips on Evolution vs. Intelligent Design

"Diarrhea doesn't work on a nudie beach."
- Tom Griswold

"You're going to hell on a scholarship."
- Spanky Brown to Tom Griswold

"A little girl getting bit by a pony is like being raped by Santa."
- Louis C.K. on crushing people's dreams

"If you can figure out how to kill a guy with a cassette tape, he probably deserves to die."
- Tom Griswold on weapons in prison.

"The desert doesn't make me horny."
- Kristi Lee

"When girls go wild they flash their boobs. When women go wild, they kill men."
- Louis C.K. on loving older women.

"Godfather III is the Curly Joe of that film series."
- Tom Griswold

"There are gangs of transvestites? I always thought that was more of a loner thing."
- Tom Griswold

"It's also known as the Northwest Baby Passage"
- Bob Kevoian with another name for mommy parts

"Between me, Oprah and her period, you don't have a chance."
- Geoff Brown as the Devil calling about your girl-friend

"I'm new to the 'front-ass' concept."
- Tom Griswold

"Chick, your sexuality has always been up for grabs."
- Tom Griswold

"There was a time when Kristi's genitalia was in the witness protection program."
- Tom Griswold on Kristi's past

"Winning 'Best Supporting Actor in a Music Video' is like one step above eating the most mashed potatoes."
- Rodney Carrington on his CMT Award

"My dog reminds me of my ex-husband. He's not pulling his weight financially and he's afraid of the vacuum."
- Karen Rontowski

"Jesus saves... and then he passes those savings on to me."
- Ryan Stout on looking for the good deals in life.

"I've never noticed Kristi to have any excessive flatulence."
- Tom Griswold on Kristi's diet.

"Sloppy Joes are just burgers that got their asses kicked."
- Donnie Baker on beating your food like Tom beats his cereal

"You don't want to be in the back row of a nude yoga class."
-Kristi Lee

"This guy got ripped to shreds humorously."
- Tom Griswold on the guy who fell into a bear pit while taking a picture

"My gym in LA is actually more like a gay bar with free weights."
- Dov Davidoff

"Nicole Kidman at 9-months pregnant is my goal weight two years from now."
- Caroline Rhea

"I'm not fat, I'm hard to kidnap."
- Jen Kober

"I've always wanted to date a baby."
- Tom Griswold on behalf of the woman dating Vern Troyer (Mini-Me)

"Do you listen to anyone but yourself?"
- Kristi Lee to Tommy G. during a newscast.